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Renée
Restivo of Bayonne, New Jersey, was head-ing
toward the corner office in a high-powered
advertising career on Madison Avenue. “It was a
lot of stress and responsibility,” she recalls.
Despite her crazy schedule, Restivo snuck in a
cooking course on Saturdays. “It was my one
little piece of happiness,” she says. “Even if
the other 6 days were stressful, I could get
inspired that 1 day of my week.”
She found the time because she considered it an
investment in discovering herself. “It’s a
matter of priorities,” she says. “If I hadn’t
dedicated a tiny bit of time to my hobby, I
never would have known how passionate I was
about cooking.” Restivo eventually quit her job,
got a master’s degree in writing, and made
cooking a bigger part of her life, including a
blog she writes about authentic sensual food.
Like Restivo, most of us are hard-pressed to
squeeze 5 minutes of leisure time out of the
day, let alone the ongoing blocks of time needed
to sustain a hobby.
"Many women feel guilty taking time for
themselves, but for happiness and good health,
you need an inspiring purpose,” says Andrea
Pennington, an integrative medicine physician
and wellness coach. “A good hobby makes you lose
all sense of time and self, liberating you from
the everyday." In fact, research shows that a
hobby can help you cope with work-related stress
by providing a different kind of challenge and
letting you disengage—and so recuperate—from
work.
Convinced? Here’s how to find the hobby that’s
right for you.
If you telecommute or live alone...
consider something that gets you out of the
house and around other like-minded people. Not
only will you have fun when you join a cooking
club, bowling league, or hiking club, but you’ll
reap the benefits of friendship and camaraderie.
“It’s easy to become stagnated after a long day
or evening alone. Inertia takes over,”
Pennington says. “But research has shown that
maintaining social connections can positively
affect your health.”
Elizabeth Cavallaro, a pediatrics resident at
the University of Arizona in Tucson, works long
hours at the hospital. Because she’s single and
lives alone, Cavallaro joined the Ramblers, a
university-associated hiking club, to meet
people, exercise, and socialize. "I wanted to
get the most out of my free time,” she says.
“Residents tend not to take care of their
bodies, so I love how hiking makes me feel
physically healthy and in shape. It’s a nice
mental break from the rush and stress of the
hospital, and I’ve become good friends with some
of the club members. We even get together
outside the club for movie nights, potlucks, and
tennis lessons."
If you’re at home all day...
you may be exhausted from chasing a 2-year-old
around since dawn, and your dream of hitting the
gym died hours ago along with the nap fantasy.
So how about a little mental stimulation? Nestle
into the easy chair with a Sudoku puzzle or with
a fresh pad of paper to write that novel you’ve
been thinking about.
Studies show that lifelong learning is a great
way to stay smart. "If you don’t use it, you’ll
lose it," Pennington says. "Mentally challenging
activities keep your mind sharp, even if you
feel like your mommy brain is mush."
Christina Kosofsky, a stay-at-home mom of two
daughters in Redwood City, California, likes to
sit down with a crossword puzzle while the kids
are napping or in bed at night. “I used to work
at a hospital, and I’d do puzzles on my breaks,”
she says. "It was always a stress-buster for
me."
At first, Kosofsky felt guilty about taking time
to do puzzles, but she noticed how much more
refreshed and ready to tackle mundane chores she
was afterward. Plus, she likes the contrast to
dealing with kid stuff all day. "It’s nice to
know my brain still works for more than figuring
out Blue’s Clues," she says.
If life is one demand after another...
a crafty hobby that allows you to escape, relax,
and use your hands may be your ticket to stress
relief. "Focusing on a task-oriented craft helps
channel your attention in one direction. Someone
with lots of demands can feel like she has
attention deficit disorder, but a craft can fuel
a sense of accomplishment and calm," Pennington
says.
With three kids and a full-time job as an office
manager and paralegal in St. Paul, Minnesota,
Kelly Linse-Hemmelman is a veteran of the
proverbial full plate. When she was invited to a
scrapbooking party, "I was afraid I’d feel
guilty about taking time away from my children,”
she admits. “But then I thought, ‘My husband
plays in a band, the kids do their things, and
where am I in all this?"
She went to the party and caught the bug. "I
deal with very concrete facts at work, where
everything is black and white. Scrapbooking
brings out my creative side," she says.
Through scrapbooking, Linse-Hemmelman found a
part of herself she didn’t even know existed.
"You can lose yourself in a career and in your
kids. It’s hard to believe that happens when
you’re so proud of your children and what you’ve
accomplished at work, but it does," she says. "I
told a friend when she had a baby not to lose
herself, and I’m finally taking my own advice."
If your job is sedentary...
swimming, bicycling, or even outdoor hockey in
the cul-de-sac are great for upping your heart
rate and your energy level. "Many studies show
the importance of exercise, particularly if you
have a desk job," says Nancy Molitor, an
assistant professor of clinical psychiatry and
behavioral science at Northwestern University.
"But physical activity also improves mood and
well-being. The effects of exercise can be as
good as an antidepressant."
Anita Perkins of Vancouver, Canada, spent long
hours working on the computer as a partner in a
mechanical engineering firm in Seattle. "I felt
so out of balance," she recalls. When she took
ballroom-dancing lessons for her wedding in
1999, she was immediately hooked. "I was working
crazy hours, but I planned my day around
dancing," she says. "I would sit at my desk, and
the only thing I looked forward to was dancing
for an hour or two."
Perkins found dancing got her into shape without
her even realizing it, and she felt great after
expending so much physical energy. "My brain is
always going, and I used to lie in bed thinking
about all the stuff I had to do. Dancing helps
me turn off those grinding gears to focus on the
music, my partner, and our moves. When I go
home, I’m truly relaxed."
If you want family time... try
a group activity—whether it’s camping,
gardening, or hunkering down over a puzzle—that
allows you to pursue your passion together.
"Even when we think we’re interacting with our
children, we’re probably not," Molitor says.
"Most weekday conversations are utilitarian:
‘Did you have lunch?’ and ‘Did you do your
homework?’ And vacations once a year just don’t
cut it. A consistency of connection is vital."
As a mother of three and founder of a company
that promotes healthier, greener, more balanced
living, C.J. Kettler knows firsthand how working
moms tend to divide life into family time and
work time. A few years ago, she rediscovered
yoga (a for-gotten college passion) and began
training to be a teacher. She invited her
daughters to join her yoga classes and has found
that practicing yoga with them gives her the
best of both worlds.
"Yoga lets me have time to myself and to share
it," Kettler explains. "I’m lucky that we found
an activity we can do together that makes the
most of family time and yet finds a balance
between everyone’s interests."
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